He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
