i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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