can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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