Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
