White coat. Heels.
My nipple is on Facebook.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
