She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
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I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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