She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
