I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize