Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
