As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
