some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
