you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
