he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I will be naked everywhere
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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