butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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