im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
