Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize