I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
