I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.