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the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
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