Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.