operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.