Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.