You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
