Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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