How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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