He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
