WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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