omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
