well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
