Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
