im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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