I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
