Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
