there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
