so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
