Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
