super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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