Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
