I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
