Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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