He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
