Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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