Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
