i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
