Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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