seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The beer is more important than you right now.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
