New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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