my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
