Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
