I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He shit in the fireplace
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