just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Green mimosas i think yes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
