i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
