He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
