There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
