Yo dont text me then not text me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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