just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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