I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
