Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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