Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize