at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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