Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
