2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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