her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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