after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize