But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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