This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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