my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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