I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
