i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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