when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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