Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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