I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
