One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
