Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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