we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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