Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize