I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
