The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
