have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
