so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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